Friday, August 5, 2011

Things We Don't Do Anymore, or Showing Our Age

I will hit a milestone birthday in a few weeks, so this is just a reminder that front row seats to the mid-life crisis are still available through Ticketmaster. In preparation for the momentous event, I've been waxing nostalgia on Facebook in a group set up for people who remember the Westside of Jacksonville, Florida as it had been 30 years ago. It's comforting to know many people still remember the Pantry Pride and Pic n' Save stores, and that 103rd Street was once two lanes wide. It's less of a comfort to realize my daughter will never know the pleasure of shopping for vinyl records at Turtles or enjoying a midnight snack of a glazed doughnut on the Cassatt Avenue Krispy Kreme, because those places are long since closed. On a board I frequent, a nostalgic thread has caught fire, with people listing things we just do anymore because we don't have to do them. What would you add?

1) Dialing a rotary phone.
2) Dialing a rotary pay phone.
3) Dialing a rotary phone and using a phone number based on the old exchange system (call Lincoln Carpeting in Chicago at NAtional 2-9000).
4) Change channels on your TV by getting off your ass, walking to the set, and turning a dial.
5) Turning the second dial on your TV from UHF to VHF.
6) Adjusting the antenna on your TV for a better picture.
7) Walking into a video rental store and seeing the Beta tapes separated from the VHS.
8) Walking into a video, for that matter. Redbox, anyone?
9) Watching a slideshow of your family vacation.
10) Watching a filmstrip at school.
11) Choosing between vinyl, cassette tapes and reel to reel when placing your order with Columbia Record Club.
12) Collecting S&H and Top Value stamps.
13) Buying encyclopedias, one volume a month, at the grocery store.
14) Ride in the bed of a pickup truck without getting pulled over.
15) Using the card catalog at the library.
16) Record songs from the radio, even when the DJ talked over them.
17) Watch cartoons only when they aired...on Saturday mornings and for an hour or so after school.
18) Smoke anywhere - restaurants, airplanes, in bed.
19) Buy one flavor of Doritos because only one flavor existed.
20) Take all your empty soda bottles to the grocery store to get your deposit back.
21) Watch MTV and see music videos instead of loud, despicable orange people.
22) Choose between three (maybe six if you lived in a big city) channels for your prime-time TV entertainment.
23) Play a board game instead because the President was on that night.
24) Go to a drive-through liquor store and buy a cup of ice along with your purchase (hand to Bible, I've seen people do this - we should be glad this practice is obsolete).
25) Go to the grocery store and buy a box of Super Sugar Crisp. It's called "Golden Crisp" now, as though a simple name change will convince us the cereal doesn't have more sugar than a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

What else?

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